So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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