it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Randomize
