there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
