"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
this beer tastes like vomit already
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
