wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
This house was built for laser tag.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
