Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
