we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
