small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I smell like Dick and happiness
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
