haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize