Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
