Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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