just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
