The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I bet he comes in French.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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