Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
