How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
