Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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