I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
