if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
