The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
