yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
