i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
of course. lets lasso hookers.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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