he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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