I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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