why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
