In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
