he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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