sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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