I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize