p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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