Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
