Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just want to make out with him forever
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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