I cannot find my penis.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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