Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
