Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
