I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
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