This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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