those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
