Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
