Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
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