Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
