are you so shy because you have an std?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize