I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
