Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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