Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
