What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Girls should come with a carfax report
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
