you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
