Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
