We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
