is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
