HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
