So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize