It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
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