I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize