My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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