it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
