She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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