Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
